Since I am a single gay man in my 50s trying my best to raise two teenagers who are my niece and nephew (they are my deceased brother's kids), I have come to appreciate greatly what single mothers have to go through to raise their kids. The only difference is that these women can always use the law we have right now to force their batugan husbands to support their children.
As for me, the kids chose me as their legal guardian and the transition from their Dad to me taking care of them was seamless since they also grew up with me, so dealing with their Papa's death was not very traumatic. The COVID episode in our lives was very emotionally, financially, physically draining and I am glad it is over.
I am also taking care of my 81 year old mother so my hands are really full. I am also a solo breadwinner so it has been quite a challenging time in my life which I did not really expect.
I was living a bachelor life for so long till my brother died.
There are many challenges being a single gay Dad. First is the financial challenges. Sending kids to school now costs a lot of money so it is always a challenge for me to pay their very expensive tuition fees LOL It also does not end with tuition alone - there are the books, the school bus and the daily hatid sundo ritual. Second, I find it hard to share my problems with someone. I can't share to Mama anymore because she is a senior already and I do not want to burden her with mundane everyday bill problems LOL. She has already paid her dues. Sometimes, I cannot share with my women friends because of the difference in POV, or so I think. Women do think differently than men and I have seen that in how my sisters and mother and aunties make decisions and deal with life. My sisters hate me because I am gay so they have disowned us already - me and the children. Third, I also have to think of my personal needs and my life. It's true that you kind of obliterate yourself when you are raising kids. They consume almost all your space LOL So balancing everything is not easy. I had a lot of hobbies being single so it has been a challenge maintaining them now. Fourth is looking for sex. Yes, sex! I am not dead yet and I do need to get laid at least four times a month. It used to be easier as a bachelor since I have my own space and bat cave. I do not have that now. I have to think twice or thrice for bringing a man home who is usually a stranger. I have thought of getting a boyfriend but I think it would add to my already busy schedule! He has to compete with my time with the kids and my Mom and my business so mahirap. And, I am old already and in the gay world, I am already invincible. They just want my money LOL
I think a support group of single Dads would be helpful para lang may makausap. I may not need their help but more as a sounding board. Parang therapist baga with less gastos.
Women are lucky because they bond faster and share their problems much easier. Even for gay men, sharing does not come easy. We are always wary of Maritess and what info to share. But I think the idea that I can share it with maybe three or four very close male friends who are also raising their kids alone would be nice. Para I won't feel too alone in dealing with all these day-to-day challenges.
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